I want to say thank you to this wonderful girl – you’re amazing!
You can also read part Two of this post at – http://journeythroughinfertility.wordpress.com/2012/12/06/infertility-through-fruit-colored-glasses-part-two/
*Note: This is not going to be a preachy post This is not meant to offend anyone’s religious beliefs or to force my beliefs on anyone.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about different ways in which to look at infertility and our situation, and I thought “Why not try looking at it in correlation to the Fruit of the Spirit?” Sometimes the negativity and hurt overshadows what can be learned and gleaned from this whole journey.
Let me give you a brief background regarding the Fruit of the Spirit: Galatians 5:22-23 says: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
So here we go!
LOVE: I won’t lie. Infertility can and does produce a lot of harsh and almost hateful feelings towards ourselves, the Firtles, God, and sometimes even our spouses/significant others. While these feelings are completely normal, it’s important to not dwell on them and let them overtake our lives and our selves. It’s no fun being a hateful Infertile. I’ve decided I need to use my infertility to learn how to love on my fellow Infertiles, to learn to love myself even though my body isn’t doing what it should be doing, to love my husband and our marriage regardless of whether or not we have children (and to lean on and depend on each other as most married couples never experience), and to love God for helping me grow through this experience in ways I never new were possible. Instead of thinking of this as a punishment, I should look at it as a unique experience that only the strongest and bravest are chosen for. This journey is NOT for the faint of heart.
JOY: Joy and happiness are not the same thing. I did a little Googling, and the best site I came across had this to say:
Here are some differences between joy and happiness:
Happiness is based on circumstances but joy is based on the Lord.
Happiness is like the moon, waxing and waning.
Joy is like the sun, always shining even when night falls or clouds cover it.
Happiness is like a kiss; joy a golden wedding anniversary.
Happiness is born in the mind; joy is born in the heart.
Happiness comes from humans; joy comes from God.
Happiness is like exchanging Christmas gifts; joy is the awareness of what Christmas is all about.
Can you see the difference? Joy is so much more than happiness! Joy makes us different.
Joyful people think differently. They don’t allow negative thoughts to occupy their minds. They not going to let the cares of the world still their joy.
Joyful people act differently. Their attitude is different – it is positive. Their behaviour is different – it is God honouring. Their speech is different – it us uplifting.
Joyful react differently. They don’t respond harshly but encourage lovingly. They encourage not discourage. They build up, not tear down.
I’m learning to take joy in my circumstances. While I am in no way happy about my infertility, I’m joyful that I’m able to be a light to other Infertiles and hopefully show that infertility does NOT define who you are.
PEACE: It is so incredibly trying and tiring to find peace in the middle of this emotional and medical storm. For the longest time I couldn’t find peace with myself and my infertility, and I still have days where I’m not at peace. But through lots of prayer and thought, I’ve been able to make peace with my situation and myself. In order to find my peace I had to come to terms with reality, which to be honest, sucked. I had to sit down with myself and realize the truth and reality that I may never give birth to my own children. I may never get to experience feeling a new life growing in me, or being able to breastfeed my child. During this talk with myself I was very bitter, angry, and in a bit of denial. But after I looked at everything, I finally began to accept what my new reality may be. I’m slowly becoming ok with this, but I certainly have a very long way to go.
Ok, that’s enough for one blog post. Soon I’ll venture on to more Fruit. This is turning out to be a little longer than I originally thought!
Best wishes to all